How to find middle ground when your partner wants kids — and you don't

To get on the same page about whether or not to start a family, psychotherapist Merle Bombardieri says to aim for 80% certainty — and do your best to compromise. But take note: "people never have a child to please their partner," she says. iStockphoto hide caption toggle caption iStockphoto So your partner wants to have a baby. You want to be child-free. How do you get on the same page about whether or not to start a family? Over the past 50 years, Merle Bombardieri , a psychotherapist and author of The Baby Decision, has been helping couples with this exact conundrum. She says this is one of the most common questions she gets. For many couples, there is a middle ground, so long as you're able to stay open to different possibilities, Bombardieri says. "A lot of times, people can actually find a solution that will work for both of them," she says. Bombardieri shares advice and exercises to help couples navigate the divide and find compromise — while minimizing regret in the process. Aim for 80% certainty Bombardieri says couples will often seek her help because they want to feel 100% certain about their decision. But for the vast majority of people, that's just not realistic. "Most people are never going to feel totally sure because they're aware of what they're going to miss from the other side," Bombardieri says. So being 80% sure is "as solid as it gets." If you feel some ambivalence about being a parent or being child-free, that's OK. …